~ aku..aku..n aku.. ~

aku knal die....lameeee dulu ~ dah tak ingat bila...
hati terpaut, aku mula berharap dapat mngenalinya ..tapi aku,, jahat..sosial..mana laahh die nak layan aku er . tak sdar diri rupanya. nama die kelakar, sangat mncuit hati.. Jamban Suci. aku tersenyum sendiri..


die bagi respon yang positive,,walau pon die agak kerek seket... kadang2 aku nafikan kat diri aku yang dia suka aku,,sebab dia tak pernah kate pape yang meyakinkan aku..so aku pon teros berkawan ngn orang lain...satu hari,, sorang dari kawan myspace aku, boy tanye kat aku siapa "die" ... aku tertanya knp n macam mana mamat tu boleh knl n tahu nama "die" ... rupanye ~ die berkawan ngn boy n berbual pasal aku tnp aku tahu ... boy copy paste semua perbualan diorang.. die kate kat boy .. kalau bole dalam ramai2 perempuan..jangan laa tackle aku..n mintak num tepon aku.. n few more things yang buat aku terharu n almost tak percaya .. boy kate..mmg niat die nak ngorat aku..n mmg boy ada pon mintak num aku.. tapi lpas having man-to-man talk tu.. boy rela biarkan aku...boy nasihat kn aku spy jage die elok2 sbb die serius ngn aku.. n aku sangat terharu... (tapi cover ah) 


bile aku fikir2kan, aku bertuah die melayan aku..n kami berkawan... rase hepi sangat.tapi...tyme tu ada perempuan lain yang rapat ngn die.. bukan sorang, tapi due tiga..n mungkin empat....ramai sangat! tapi...die bagi aku harapan...n die nak aku berusaha kalau aku nak dia..dia nak pilih antara kami manee yang terbaik..


aku jadi marah ~ die ingat dia sapa...slame ni tak pernah aku berusaha utk dapatkan org..slalunye orang yang akan cari aku.. banyak hensem muka die! (walaupun bagi aku die laki yang paling nsem yang pnh aku kenal)
aku jadi sedey die layan aku camtu... aku lak kne berjuang,, die??? dia dapat layanan dari pmpuan2 tu...
sampai satu ketika... aku dah tak larat berusaha nak jadi yang terbaik... aku rase nak mnyerah kalah...
kami macam sangat jauh,,die pon macam endah tak endahkan aku.. so,, aku nekad.. bagitahu diee yang aku tarik diri.


mase berlalu ~
ntah macam mana kami terhubung kembali...kami berkawan..n jadi semakin rapat,..n rapat..
bahagianyee..aku rase die jer yang aku nak...n aku sangat berharap kat die... mase tu...die mula layan aku ngn sangatttt baik...terrbaik.. die kerap sangat text aku..n aku mula rase aku pnting . die kelaka. die sangat caring..aku rase bahagieee ngn die..takkan ada apa yang lebih mmbahagiakan selain msg dgn die..dapat dgr suara apetah lg ,, korang akan lihat aku tersenyum sesorang..sepanjang hari.. =) 

aku punye perangai..sangat kontra dari die..ape yang aku slalu buat,adalah benda yang die tak suka..
sangat bahagie,,die tak henti2 mmbebel kat aku suh aku ubah itu n ini... satu ketika dulu ~ aku mmberontak ..tak faham apa yang dia inginkan..tapi skarang...bile die da xda..aku  ialah mula fhm...ape yg die kte ada benarnye.. aku mmg suka brjge malam..n die suka nasihatkn aku spy aku tidur... aku tak suka makan ikot waktu,,n dia sangat marah kalau aku jatuh sakit ats sebab tu... kami slalu gado,tapi sbb aku keras kepala ...
hrmm.... i miss him so badly ~


satu hari..........aku wat kesilapan yang paling besar dalam hidup aku (setakat ni..n aku berdoa ni kesilapan aku yang terakhir, xsanggup lg dah) aku kecewakan dia...satu ketika dulu..kami pnh berjanji utk setia..antara satu sama lain... tapi.aku terima kehadiran lelaki lain dalam hidup aku.. aku menyesal, tapi aku terlambat sbb aku da pon ilang kpercayaan yang die beri.. aku redha...walaupun aku tak tahu macam mna hari2 seterusnya utk aku lalui tanpa die... sejak tu...hari2 yang aku lalui suram..aku tidur dgn tak tenang, dalam keadaan sunyi n keseorangan..aku bangun dalam keaadaan bersedih..g mandi..g klas...kosong jek..bdn pon lembik..
aku sering tertanya..kalaulaa masa bole aku undur ,, akan aku betulkan segalanya ~ tapi.ni lumrah manusia...tak pernah lari dari kesalahan...which is the worst..lagi terok daripada aku ilang kan cincin emas mak aku...lagi menyakitkan dr aku hilang duit yang beratus2... sebab die ialah bnda yang paling aku sayang..tak ternilai.. die ibarat peganti bantal busuk (sbb aku xda bantal busuk) yang sntiasa jadi penguat semangat..yang jadi peneman setiap malam..yang boleh buat kita tak bernafas kalau ia xda dpn mata..n xboleh tidur tnpanya ~ n kalau bantal tu digunting2 depan mata,,rase macam nyawa ditarik dari badan.. (jiwang plak ai)


makin hari..aku makin buntu..tak tahu mana lagi kebahagiaan utk aku...tak tahu apa matlamat hidup aku... aku hilang fokus..aku da tak knal siapa aku,,yang kuat semangat,,yang berusaha nak belajar...aku jadi lemah..aku tak tahu ape yang perlu aku buat... kejamnye si Jamban Suci,. mencuri hati n jiwa aku sampai mcm ni... tambah lagi..roomate aku bgthu aku yg die titipkan msg.. spy roomate aku jaga aku..jaga makan minom aku..jaga tidur aku..n tak bg roomate aku beritahu aku yg die hanta msg... aku jadi terkilan..aku baru dapat tahu..baru jee td...slpas smuanya terjadi..... ='(


mase berlalu ... aku tahu da xda peluang bagi aku utk jadi miliknye...
tapi aku terus berharap..n berharap.. takdir akan mngubah segalanya.. sebab..jiwa aku ada pada die, 
Jamban Suci.

tak mungkin berpaLing ='(

Tidak mungkin kuberpaling lagi 
Salah sangka yang direncanakan 
Gelora melanda 
Adalah dendammu 
Setelah diriku 
Tak mampu menjadi milikmu 

Cukup sudah hati berdarah 
Usah ditambah cerita yang sudah 
Di mana kekasihmu 
Yang pernah kau sanjungi 
Mengapa pula padaku 
Menjadi pelepas ceritamu 
Dan jua sepimu 

Usah menabur budi 
Mengharapkan simpati 
Sedangkan kau menitip 
Cemburu iri hati 

Tak mungkin kuberpaling 
Padamu yang meracuni 
Rimbunan kasihku 
Sehingga berguguran 
Kelopak cinta kita 
Kerana mu tak lagi mengerti hatiku 

Sehingga berguguran 
Kelopak cinta kita 
Kerana fitnahmu 
Walau segunung sesalmu 
Tak mungkin kukembali 
Cukuplah sekali 
Kejelekanmu 
Menggamit pilu 

Tidak mungkin kumaafkan lagi 
Salah sangka yang direncanakan 
Adalah dendammu 
Setelah diriku 
Tak mampu menjadi milikmu 
Sepenuhnya

fate ~

wups..wups,,,

penatnye baru sampai kat uma...dari tadi kerja aku asyik tido..tido...n tido..

ari ni aku nak knal kan kat korang ~ orang yang tak brape nak baru..hikhik dalam hidup aku..

selain family,,sahabat karib.....sedara mara....n yang paling penting ausz...hmmm (-_-!)

nampaknyee kisah cinte aku sblm ni tak kan pergi kemana2...so...life must go on ~

wan..say hi to them.! =)

Introducing mr wa

Navin and Ploy Chermarn have been dating for a while now. Currently he is in America studying for his Ph.D and she is in Thailand. For others, the distance might be an issue. For this couple it’s not. Thousands of miles apart, still their love is sweet as ever shown in Ploy’s twitter page.

Ploy loves to twitter and she loves to post photos of Navin on her page with cute little captions. She comes off like a bubbly girl in love for the first time. Here is a link to Ploy’s twitter photo page.

a siLLy regret (-_-!)

hellow..assalamualaikum..

i just drop by for a moment to share wif ya'll an article (more like a story) yg catched my attention just now ~ padahal aku nih ada kuiz math esok..kuikui..doakan ye... n aku pon tak ciapkan lagi lab report chemist aku yang tersayang tuh...hrm...tensennnnnn

so...feel free to read it.! sediakan tissue sekotak! heeeee...

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called as my "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that,and I knew it.

After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and i handed them to her. She said "thanks &qu... See Moreot; and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

3rd Year High

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her lover had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Sharon Cuneta movie, and three bags of Chippy, she decided to go to sleep.She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year

The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 1st year, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So.. we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later 

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now.  I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the funeral, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read : "I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.I wish he would tell me he loved me! I wish I did too..." I thought to my self,and I cried and I cried...